Voldemort meets Miss Swan
by hermionebrowneyes
Summary: Voldemort meets miss Swan what more can be said. Humor/parody short story PG 13 just in case


  Voldemort meets Miss Swan   

Disclaimer: don't own Harry, Voldemort, or Hermione No money so don't sew please and thanks

Summary: Voldemort meets miss Swan what more can be said. Humor/parody short story

**Warning**: if you don't like senseless humor then don't read this. Flames will be used to heat my    house Mawhahaha cough choke ah much better hahahahaaha that is all.

P.S.: I know my spelling is bad you don't need to tell me so don't okay

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Voldemort: what the hell is this?

Me: my story

Voldemort: Listen here you Muggle let me go or else

Me: No I don't think so

Voldemort: How are you going to stop me?

Me: Like this

A piano drops on Voldemort's head 

Voldemort: _rubbing head as he gets out from under the piano _Hey that hurt girl

Me: lady

Voldemort: Whatever 

Me: Well now you know what will if you try to hurt me or try to escape so sit down shut up and enjoy the story.

Voldemort: Fine I will sit but I am not going to **enjoy** the story.

Me: Fine and now let the story begin

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Okay its 7th year Snape was found out to be a mole for Dumbledore and is now with him (Don't worry he's fine) Draco decided he rather be good then bad 

Story starts off in a dark castle (you guys know the scenario dark, rain, lightning, on a huge mountain, nighttime, basic evil hideout) where the Deatheaters and Voldemort have Hermione trapped in a cage.

Voldemort: Tell me where Harry is.

Hermione: No never

Voldemort: Please I will be your friend and I will give you candy. (Yes I know he would never say that but hell this is my story) 

Hermione: Why would I want to be friends with a freak like you and candies bad for you  

Voldemort: Why you little B**** I am going to kill you Ava-

Peter: Um sir we need her alive she's the bait

Voldemort: Are you telling me what to do you stupid worm 

Peter: But sir the-

Voldemort: Yes I know she's the bait man this day is no fun at all life's so unfair 

Hermione: Oh you poor baby ~_rolls her eyes_~

Voldemort: Ava-

Peter: Sir

Voldemort: Oh right I forgot

Knock at the door 

Voldemort: Who is it?

Voice: Me lucius 

Voldemort: Come in

Lucius: Yes sir 

Lucius comes in followed by some other Deatheaters 

Voldemort: So why are you here?

Lucius: We found a Muggle woman who claims to know where Harry is

Voldemort: Well just don't stand there bring her in

Lucius: Yes sir

Voldemort: _to Hermione _you should have told me what I wanted to know now you will regret it

Peter: Sir bait

Voldemort: Ah ya, ya, I know 

Lucius and the other Deatheaters come in with an Asian woman. She is a short chubby little woman warring a dress.

Lucius: This is she

Voldemort: Well hello what's your name?

The lady: Miss Swan

Voldemort: And you know where Harry Potter is?

Miss Swan: Yes 

Voldemort: Well?

Miss Swan: Yes?

Voldemort: Oh brother where is he?

Miss Swan: Who? 

Voldemort: **H-A-R-R-Y P-O-T-T-E-R!!!**

Miss Swan: Oh why dint you say so you not say that! (That's how she talks from what I remember)

Voldemort: Fine Where is Harry Potter?

Miss Swan: He

Voldemort: Yes 

Miss Swan: He

Voldemort: Yes!

Miss Swan: He

Voldemort: Yes!!

Miss Swan: He

Voldemort: Out with it!!!! 

Miss Swan: Calm down me tells you. You must be patient

Voldemort: Okay I can be calm see this is me being calm okay?

Miss Swan: Okay

A long pause is now on as Voldemort and Miss Swan stares at each other

Voldemort: Well?

Miss Swan: Well what?

Hermione: He wants to know where Harry is

Miss Swan: Oh okay

Voldemort: Well where is he?

Miss Swan: He 

Hermione: That's it I am going to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzz

Voldemort: Hey wake up oh never mind where's Harry

Miss Swan: He look a

Voldemort: Yes he look a go on

Miss Swan: He look a pause like a man

Voldemort: WHAT!!!

Miss Swan: He look a like a man

Voldemort: Yes I got that but what dose it mean?

Miss Swan: You not listening 

Voldemort: Okay I am listening

Miss Swan: He look a like a man 

Voldemort: What?

Hermione: Oh for crying out loud she said He look a like a man 

she said as she wakes up

Voldemort: **Butt out !  Now tell me where Harry is now.**

Miss Swan: He look a like a man

Voldemort: ha, ha, ha, He look a like a man, He look a like a man, He look a like a man, la, la, la, I get it there he is.

Points at lucius 

Voldemort: Harry prepare to die 

Lucius: Hey wait its me I am not Harry

Voldemort: Of course you are Avada Kendavra 

Lucius drops dead

Voldemort: Harry there you are

Points at a deatheater 

Voldemort: Avada Kendavra 

Voldemort: Harry there you are

Points at a deatheater 

Voldemort: Avada Kendavra

Ten minutes later all of the Deatheaters are now dead thanks to the fact that Voldemort has gone crazy (more crazy then he already is that is) the only ones still alive are Hermione, Miss Swan, and Voldemort. Voldemort runs around looking for Harry then all of a sudden. 

Voldemort: A there you are you thought you could trick me ha, ha, ha, but I know it you Harry you thought you could trick me dint you well I am to smart for you.

Hermione just stared at Voldemort as he screamed at his own reflection in a mirror ~the guy was totally nuts~

Voldemort: Prepare to die Harry Avada Kendavra beam of green light came from his wand and bounced off the mirror and hit him. Voldemort fell dead to the ground

Hermione: Boy that was wearied  hey Miss Swan will you let me out of here please.

Miss Swan: Yes I will 

Miss Swan goes over to the cage and gets Hermione out

Miss Swan: I told him but he just not here what I said 

Hermione: Yes I know he just did not get it and it was so simple

Then all of a sudden a door burst open and in came Harry, Ron, Draco, Snape, and Dumbledore. They look around and see the dead Deatheaters and Voldemort

Hermione: Took you guys long enough!!!

Harry: What just happen in here? 

Snape: Yes I demand to know what happen 

Dumbledore: lemon drop Miss granger or Miss Swan.

Hermione: You know her points to Swan

Dumbledore: Yes were good friends

Harry: to Miss Swan what happen  here?

Miss Swan: He

Harry: Yes?

Miss Swan: He

Harry: Yes!!

Hermione: Here we go again

**THE END**

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Voldemort: what the hell was that

Me: My story

Voldemort: but I died

Me: I know

Voldemort: hey that's not fare 

Me: So my story my rules bye

Voldemort: Grrr can I go now

Me: Um I guess so bye


End file.
